The Beginning of the End

Standing to the side of the cafeteria at my son's high school today, a teacher gave the opening statements to approximately 300 students who were preparing to enjoy their Senior Breakfast.  Her words struck me as incredibly true...."this is the beginning of the end of your senior year".  Yes, today's breakfast begins the flurry of activities that will culminate my son's high school career.  I am glad it's almost over for him because he hasn't been happy at the school.  He loved his old high school with a passion, but the Archdiocese of Baltimore decided to shut it down and this is where he transferred.  He feels he doesn't fit in here and I can understand why.  Although some people have been extremely kind to me, a number of parents and students seem to be "out of our league".  We have different backgrounds, different living arrangements, different circumstances.  It leaves my son and I feeling...different.  I couldn't help but wonder how different it would have been had we still been at our other school.  I looked at these young men and women and knew very few, mainly the boys on the football team.  I may have known five of the fifty parents.  I watched my son sitting with some of his buddies from his old school.  His body language told me that he was uncomfortable, as well.  I wish that it didn't have to be this way for him.  I wish I could turn back the clock and make things the way we wish they were.  But I can't.  So I attend the functions and I smile, sad that things aren't the way they could have been and sad that my boy is almost through with his childhood, but proud to be him mom and happy that he has done well, succeeding in the face of adversity, even though his heart hasn't always been in it.

Class of 2012.  I remember saying those words when he was just a small boy and thinking that was so far off in the future. Time flies, however, as only a parent can understand and today we began the beginning of the end.