Resolutions
I have been thinking alot about resolutions lately. It's that time of year, but my reflection this year is much more intense than in years past. I have had a tough year emotionally and I have learned many things about myself. I am strong, but not as strong as I had thought. I have found my strength depended alot on other people and that this is not a good thing. Other people have other agendas. Children grow up. Spouses are independent of you and may have ideas that differ from your own. My most important of resolutions this year is to get a little bit stronger every day so that when I need to stand on my own two feet and take care of me, myself and I, I can do it. I love my family and I am devoted to them. I have nurtured them for 28 years now and I am proud of who they are and who we are as a family. This year I realized that I am not proud of some of the things that I am without them. They look to me to be strong and independent and with them surrounding me, I am. Without them...well, I found that I am not. I remember how I felt as a teen when I knew that I was becoming independent of my mother and she and my father were divorced and her long term relationship with someone ended. I felt guilty when I wanted to lead my own life and scared for her because I was moving forward and she was alone and lonely. I don't want that for my children. I want them to know that if something goes wrong in my life, I don't need them to hold me up. They needn't feel guilty for living their lives and growing and moving forward. I want them to always be there to love and support me, but I don't want my weight to be overwhelming for them.
So what else do I resolve on this eve of 2013? I want to reduce clutter. I want my life, my homeschooling day and my home to feel organized. I want to conquer a "to do" list....I want to MAKE a "to do" list. I want to parent confidently and calmly. My little son is a great challenge. He is sarcastic and rude...something my other children were not until they were teens and still not to the extent that he is at age eight. I want him to understand my consequences and learn that what I say I mean without the tug of war that is so common.
I resolve to take a few classes...online, at a shop, where ever I may find them. I want to learn how to make a good web page for an idea I have on homeschool curriculum. I want to blog, daily. I want to journal, daily. I love blogging, but I need a place to journal privately where I can write down my innermost thoughts without fear of reproach from my family or friends. Writing soothes my soul.
I resolve to read more. More than magazines! I miss reading novels. I will NOT feel guilty about calling a personal "time out" in the evening a few times a week and going to bed early with a novel (and locking the door). I resolve to coupon more and get plenty of freebies. It's a great help to the budget and it's something I truly enjoy. I love a good bargain and it's satisfying to me to get a good deal.
I want to get healthy....in mind and in body. My health is good, but I am lax in going to the doctor and very bad about routine tests I should be having done to screen out problems. I will schedule them and I will go. I will lose weight by eating healthier. I want to make good meal choices and good snack choices. I haven't really mapped out my route yet, but I am thinking about it. I am not going to make any hard and fast rules that I know I won't follow. I just want to include more fresh food, less processed. I want to make different meals for my family and get my recipes into some sort of organized and useable form. I want to be proud of myself when I look in the mirror for a myriad of ways.
There are more. My family is waiting on brunch and my Sunday is waiting for me. I will add to these resolutions as I think of them. It's important to me to see them here in writing so I can come back to them and remember why I wanted to make them.
So I will enjoy my last two days of 2012, but I won't be sorry to see the year end. It was not a good one for me. I am looking forward to an awesome 2013.
So what else do I resolve on this eve of 2013? I want to reduce clutter. I want my life, my homeschooling day and my home to feel organized. I want to conquer a "to do" list....I want to MAKE a "to do" list. I want to parent confidently and calmly. My little son is a great challenge. He is sarcastic and rude...something my other children were not until they were teens and still not to the extent that he is at age eight. I want him to understand my consequences and learn that what I say I mean without the tug of war that is so common.
I resolve to take a few classes...online, at a shop, where ever I may find them. I want to learn how to make a good web page for an idea I have on homeschool curriculum. I want to blog, daily. I want to journal, daily. I love blogging, but I need a place to journal privately where I can write down my innermost thoughts without fear of reproach from my family or friends. Writing soothes my soul.
I resolve to read more. More than magazines! I miss reading novels. I will NOT feel guilty about calling a personal "time out" in the evening a few times a week and going to bed early with a novel (and locking the door). I resolve to coupon more and get plenty of freebies. It's a great help to the budget and it's something I truly enjoy. I love a good bargain and it's satisfying to me to get a good deal.
I want to get healthy....in mind and in body. My health is good, but I am lax in going to the doctor and very bad about routine tests I should be having done to screen out problems. I will schedule them and I will go. I will lose weight by eating healthier. I want to make good meal choices and good snack choices. I haven't really mapped out my route yet, but I am thinking about it. I am not going to make any hard and fast rules that I know I won't follow. I just want to include more fresh food, less processed. I want to make different meals for my family and get my recipes into some sort of organized and useable form. I want to be proud of myself when I look in the mirror for a myriad of ways.
There are more. My family is waiting on brunch and my Sunday is waiting for me. I will add to these resolutions as I think of them. It's important to me to see them here in writing so I can come back to them and remember why I wanted to make them.
So I will enjoy my last two days of 2012, but I won't be sorry to see the year end. It was not a good one for me. I am looking forward to an awesome 2013.
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