Memories

As I navigate my world without my partner of 30 years I find myself more resilient than I thought I would be, but I struggle with the memories when I go to the places we have gone together, which seems to be everywhere.  Today I went up to the football fields where both our sons grew up playing on that field and while there was only Coach Chris working with the 2-4 year olds, my fourteen year old son assistant coaching, I could hear from years ago my husband with his loud, energetic voice coaching the boys, yelling the drills, instilling discipline and work ethic.  I was so proud of him.  I am still so proud of the coach he is, though I am disappointed in the man he is showing himself to be currently.  I miss him with all my heart and I miss being his wife.  I was so proud to be his wife.  He doesn't remember anything good in our years, but we had a loving, connected relationship for a long time.  I will survive.  I have no choice.  But I will always miss the team we were together.  We were good together.  I wish he would remember. 

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