The Birth of My First Born
Twenty six years ago today, after three days of induced labor and what the military doctors in Wurzburg, Germany told me was 43 weeks of pregancy, I gave birth via c-section to a 6lb 14oz baby girl and my life would never be the same again. I was nineteen, barely more than a child myself, but that little girl gave my life purpose! We were buddies, Kris and I. We were in Germany for three months together and then, after a short visit home, we spent the next year in Colorado. I remember taking this tiny little baby to restaurants, museums and zoos, talking away to her like she could understand what I said. I would hold up clothes for her to pick out her favorites. We spent all of our time together, watching the flowers grow and the sun rise and set. She was my world. She was a good baby, sleeping well, barely crying and walking by the time she was nine months old. For her first birthday I blew up balloons and spelled her name with them across our livingroom wall! Life was simple then, with ample time to do the things I wanted and to soak up her every move. After her first birthday we moved back to Maryland and she charmed our family, especially her PopPop. I think I got ousted as her favorite when he came into the picture on a daily basis. She was his Dink and he was her hero. I remember her toddler years well. She had a pixie hair cut and her hair was a gleaming honey blond. She was sassy and smart, singing for a crowd and talking up a blue streak. She would sit at the organ with her pop and sing Old Dog Trey. Later, when she was almost three, her sister would come along and Keri would idolize her sister, imitating her every move. My girls were beautiful and I was truly blessed.
Very soon afterward, after years of issues, my marriage would disintegrate and the girls and I, after living for awhile with PopPop, ventured out on our own. Fortunately for us, our knight in shining armor rode into our life just a few months later and it wouldn't take long before my sweet baby girls and I had formed a new family with a new daddy and off we went together into the sunset. Life got busier after that. My girls were a matched set, doing everything together and I even dressed them alike. We moved into another house and then a baby brother joined the crew. My first baby was eight by then, and smarter then you can imagine. She was independent and strong and she ruled over her siblings with a loving, but iron fist. Moving once again, we began life in the house we still call home, but tragedy struck when her beloved PopPop passed away suddenly. Her little world was rocked and I regret that I didn't have the strength to make decisions properly for her during that time of intense grief. It would take her some time to recover and then, in a blink of an eye, she was a preteen. I suppose she was easy in those years, compared to some, but I remember a little girl trying to be a big girl, talking endlessly on the phone and trying to make her way in a world that didn't always include me. She was independent and strong, relying on no one but herself, traits she still is proud of today. She and her sister didn't get along anymore, but she and her baby brother....well, that was another story. She was his Sissy and he was her baby and she gave him everything, including a lollipop out of her mouth if he asked! Her teenage years were full of sass and smart mouth, door slams and eye rolls, but all in all, she was a good girl. She was an honors student, but refused to do the work, doing just what was required to stay in the class, but the teachers loved her because she was engaging and kind. Sixteen came and went and she got her license and by eighteen she had found her first real love, her identity and she once again let me in, chatting at the kitchen table about life. She graduated from high school, didn't want to go to college, and went to work instead...sometimes. This was a rocky period for her, but she and I were close and we made it through. During this period we all got a surprise when another baby brother was born! Kris brought out all her pent up mothering urges and helped me so much with our bonus baby. Now she had another brother to dote on, who called her Sissy, and those boys couldn't have asked for more in a sister. She was, is, their second mother and she would do anything for them. They love her passionately, as she does them.
Relationships came and went, as did first apartments, jobs and vehicles. Young adulthood was full of ups and downs, but she was my best friend again. She was a preK teacher at a daycare and she and I would lesson plan together, watch movies and enjoy her brothers. My favorite times were early in the mornings and just after work. She would be there, coffee in hand, and we would sit at the table and chat about life. My daughter had become a woman right before my very eyes.
At twenty two she met the man she would eventually marry. He was in the military and gone most of the time for several years, but when he came home from overseas my little girl became a wife. Time went quickly after that and she broke my heart when she gave me the news that they were going to start their married life out of state. How I cried!!! My first baby girl, my best friend was leaving and she took a part of my heart with her. She came home often to visit, but it just wasn't the same. How I treasured the days she was here, but the leaving...that tore my heart in two. This past September she came home for a visit. Did I mention I love her visits! She sits on the counter and talks to me while I cook, just like she did when she was younger. We watch movies and lesson plan and shop. This particular visit brought big news! My baby was having a baby!!!
And so here we are today. She has visited often through the past several months and we have bought baby clothes, wandered the aisles of Babies R Us for hours, talked about names and had a baby shower. We have folded tiny clothes, dreamed big dreams and made big plans. "Our" baby is due in a few weeks. My baby is still in North Carolina and I am ready to drop everything, scoop up her father and brothers and make the mad dash to see this baby born. Those six hours in the car are going to be the longest six hours of my life!! I pray that we make it in time because my baby girl, the light of my life, my best friend, my beautiful twenty six year old daughter, will be giving me the best gift I could ever ask for. I am getting a granddaughter! It's like turning back the clock. Very shortly I will be able to start again, with a sweet little baby girl to rock and love and treasure. I hope she looks just like her mommy! What a wonderful thing, to be able to have my daughter as an adult and still get to go back in time to see "her" as a little girl again. I feel like it is the ultimate gift. In a few months time my daughter and her husband, who left here as a couple, will be moving back as a family. By September I will have my little granddaughter every weekday while her mommy works, and I will remember how fast the time flew by and I will treasure each and every minute I get to spend with my granddaughter. But best of all, I will have my daughter home, living nearby, making a life with her new family, but close enough to hug. My family will be complete again and my heart won't have to break over and over every time she says she is going home.
Happy Birthday, Princess. I love you more than you can possibly know! I can't bake you a cake today or give you a hug or kiss your soft cheek. I can't call everyone in the family and invite them to a family dinner at Red Lobster in your honor. But I can think of you, every minute, and pray that you are safe and happy and well. I love you, Kris. Thank you for making me a Mom. You are the best gift I could have ever asked for. I can't wait to share your life with you as you start your journey into motherhood. I'm here. Just ask. I do anything I can for you and your daughter. Until I see you again...
Very soon afterward, after years of issues, my marriage would disintegrate and the girls and I, after living for awhile with PopPop, ventured out on our own. Fortunately for us, our knight in shining armor rode into our life just a few months later and it wouldn't take long before my sweet baby girls and I had formed a new family with a new daddy and off we went together into the sunset. Life got busier after that. My girls were a matched set, doing everything together and I even dressed them alike. We moved into another house and then a baby brother joined the crew. My first baby was eight by then, and smarter then you can imagine. She was independent and strong and she ruled over her siblings with a loving, but iron fist. Moving once again, we began life in the house we still call home, but tragedy struck when her beloved PopPop passed away suddenly. Her little world was rocked and I regret that I didn't have the strength to make decisions properly for her during that time of intense grief. It would take her some time to recover and then, in a blink of an eye, she was a preteen. I suppose she was easy in those years, compared to some, but I remember a little girl trying to be a big girl, talking endlessly on the phone and trying to make her way in a world that didn't always include me. She was independent and strong, relying on no one but herself, traits she still is proud of today. She and her sister didn't get along anymore, but she and her baby brother....well, that was another story. She was his Sissy and he was her baby and she gave him everything, including a lollipop out of her mouth if he asked! Her teenage years were full of sass and smart mouth, door slams and eye rolls, but all in all, she was a good girl. She was an honors student, but refused to do the work, doing just what was required to stay in the class, but the teachers loved her because she was engaging and kind. Sixteen came and went and she got her license and by eighteen she had found her first real love, her identity and she once again let me in, chatting at the kitchen table about life. She graduated from high school, didn't want to go to college, and went to work instead...sometimes. This was a rocky period for her, but she and I were close and we made it through. During this period we all got a surprise when another baby brother was born! Kris brought out all her pent up mothering urges and helped me so much with our bonus baby. Now she had another brother to dote on, who called her Sissy, and those boys couldn't have asked for more in a sister. She was, is, their second mother and she would do anything for them. They love her passionately, as she does them.
Relationships came and went, as did first apartments, jobs and vehicles. Young adulthood was full of ups and downs, but she was my best friend again. She was a preK teacher at a daycare and she and I would lesson plan together, watch movies and enjoy her brothers. My favorite times were early in the mornings and just after work. She would be there, coffee in hand, and we would sit at the table and chat about life. My daughter had become a woman right before my very eyes.
At twenty two she met the man she would eventually marry. He was in the military and gone most of the time for several years, but when he came home from overseas my little girl became a wife. Time went quickly after that and she broke my heart when she gave me the news that they were going to start their married life out of state. How I cried!!! My first baby girl, my best friend was leaving and she took a part of my heart with her. She came home often to visit, but it just wasn't the same. How I treasured the days she was here, but the leaving...that tore my heart in two. This past September she came home for a visit. Did I mention I love her visits! She sits on the counter and talks to me while I cook, just like she did when she was younger. We watch movies and lesson plan and shop. This particular visit brought big news! My baby was having a baby!!!
And so here we are today. She has visited often through the past several months and we have bought baby clothes, wandered the aisles of Babies R Us for hours, talked about names and had a baby shower. We have folded tiny clothes, dreamed big dreams and made big plans. "Our" baby is due in a few weeks. My baby is still in North Carolina and I am ready to drop everything, scoop up her father and brothers and make the mad dash to see this baby born. Those six hours in the car are going to be the longest six hours of my life!! I pray that we make it in time because my baby girl, the light of my life, my best friend, my beautiful twenty six year old daughter, will be giving me the best gift I could ever ask for. I am getting a granddaughter! It's like turning back the clock. Very shortly I will be able to start again, with a sweet little baby girl to rock and love and treasure. I hope she looks just like her mommy! What a wonderful thing, to be able to have my daughter as an adult and still get to go back in time to see "her" as a little girl again. I feel like it is the ultimate gift. In a few months time my daughter and her husband, who left here as a couple, will be moving back as a family. By September I will have my little granddaughter every weekday while her mommy works, and I will remember how fast the time flew by and I will treasure each and every minute I get to spend with my granddaughter. But best of all, I will have my daughter home, living nearby, making a life with her new family, but close enough to hug. My family will be complete again and my heart won't have to break over and over every time she says she is going home.
Happy Birthday, Princess. I love you more than you can possibly know! I can't bake you a cake today or give you a hug or kiss your soft cheek. I can't call everyone in the family and invite them to a family dinner at Red Lobster in your honor. But I can think of you, every minute, and pray that you are safe and happy and well. I love you, Kris. Thank you for making me a Mom. You are the best gift I could have ever asked for. I can't wait to share your life with you as you start your journey into motherhood. I'm here. Just ask. I do anything I can for you and your daughter. Until I see you again...
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