I Have To Say My Piece
Anyone who knows my family can tell you that youth sports has been a huge part of our lives for the past fifteen years or more. And before anyone jumps on my case, my children are highly competitive, active kids who ask to play these sports. It's either in the blood we all share or the air we breathe in our home. Maybe both. The girls cheered, we coached them in softball and basketball, they played high school sports. My older son was a year round talented athlete. He started at four years old and played baseball, basketball and football, doing select and metro baseball and traveling around the country, winning championships and having a blast. My husband was the one who coached the girls in softball and started their basketball league, which is also where my oldest boy started playing. Brian was also Brian David's coach for his entire baseball career until high school and his football coach for all but one year. We started and finished our son's youth football at the same organization. My husband was born to coach. He does it right...the kids learn fundamental skills, teamwork, sportsmanship and self discipline. They love him and he loves them. They respect him and he respects them. He is a tough coach, demanding that the kids give everything they have, but he knows that some kids have more talent and some less and their "all" will not be the same, but if they were willing to put 100% out there, he was willing to praise them and keep them involved in the game. He would raise his voice occasionally, but not often. He coached them well and then let them play the game, offering guidance and support. He let them know when he was unhappy with them, but most of the time, he let them know how proud he was of their efforts and accomplishments. Those boys would do anything for him and he would do anything for them. He must have done something right because he won several championships along the way and the "kids" still call him and visit and speak highly of him to those they meet and they are now young men, graduating high school. I'm proud of who my husband is and I know that the kids on his teams are lucky to have him.
That brings us to Dakota. Dakota was our bonus baby. He was my husband's gift to me when he decided to pursue the time consuming path of high school coaching and asked me "what do you want to do with your life now that the kids are growing up?" I knew when we had him that my husband was not going to be "running the table" as they say, coaching Dakota from the ground up. I knew there wasn't enough time or energy left for that. I stepped in for his first year of baseball and basketball and coached and, when he started tackle football at 3 years old in a new organization close to my husband's school that he coaches for, I thought Dakota's coach was fabulous. However, my son was three and there wasn't too much more to be learned for him than being a part of a team and standing in the right spots. We were pleased with the outcome overall. The next year, however, his coach was a mess. He didn't know football. He didn't work well with the kids and he was going through a personal crisis at home that he brought onto the field. We cut Dakota's season short after the coach taught the boys how to "play dirty" against another team. Okay. So we tried soccer the next year and had a great coach. Dakota was no superstar, but he really enjoyed the high energy on the soccer field. I loved our coach and it was fun, although no one really bothered to teach the kids the skills to better themselves. Basketball for his first year was fun and I coached. No issues there. Then came football season again. This time my husband knew the coach and said good things about him. He had "run the table" with his oldest boy and was returning to youth to coach his youngest. My husband vowed to help, but in the long run, had little time to give due to his work and coaching schedule at the high school level. Well, long story short, the coach did know football, but wasn't interested in teaching the skills to the kids. He just wanted to work with the bigger, stronger, faster kids and had little interest in the "dead wood" that were the 19 other young boys on his team. These boys were 5, 6 and 7 years old! After several weeks of this I decided to cut my losses and Dakota and I enjoyed a wonderful fall at home, watching my husband coach and older son play on Archbishop Spalding's high school team. So here we are presently, in the spring. My husband has become extremely close to Dakota. They are best buddies and my husband's schedule has been slow due to the off season and he is very interested in coaching Dakota. Time, however, will not always be available. So he and I together and coaching baseball and we signed Dakota up with another organization for football this spring, arena football, in hopes that this well accomplished organization and it's seasoned coaches would have what we were looking for in a team and in the coaches that are working with these 6 and 7 year old boys. I took Dakota to the first 2 practices. They were long and it was cold and Dakota was not looking like he knew what he was doing nor that he was enjoying himself. We asked him if he would like to quit. Nope. He said he was loving it. My very aggressive, gregarious boy, however, was a pansy on the football field and I feared he would get hurt, so my husband agreed to take the reigns, work with our son on his skills and take him to his practices twice a week. From what I was hearing, things were good. Our son was improving and I know he always came home full of stories and smiles, telling me about his night. My husband approved of the coaches who were gung ho, but seemed to genuinely like the boys. Could this be it? Had we found a football home? Today was our first arena football game. I was waiting for the good experience that was going to give this football loving family something to smile about. We got there an hour early and the coaches were excited and so were the boys. Our team, for the most part, is made up of bigger boys, all getting ready to turn eight very soon. They are experienced, having won their age bracket championship the year before in fall football. Dakota is small and inexperienced and I knew he wouldn't get alot of playing time. I was okay with that. The other team was tiny and had only had one practice. Not looking good for them. So 9am comes and the game starts. Our starting offense tears up the other team's defense over and over again. We score and score some more. The other team is taking a bruising and some of the kids are getting really banged up. Dakota gets in for one, maybe two plays. Some kids don't get in at all, as the starters are playing both sides of the ball skillfully. Then it's halftime. My husband and I are sure that the coaches are going to put in the younger, smaller kids now. It's a blow out. But no. The coach is all but frothing at the mouth because his big, strong son is continually destroying the other team. The big boys on our squad pummel and pummel the other team. The score is 8 scores to 2 scores and still, our coach is smiling a mile wide and letting these kids smash into the other team over and over. Dakota got in for one or two more plays. Some kids still hadn't step foot onto the field. The coach was not at all concerned. He was winning!!!! Big!!! Look at my huge beast of a son beating up on that little center!!! There were some parents of the bigger kids yelling and encouraging their sons to beat up on this team more. More! More!! It was awful. I was embarrassed for us. Where was the teamwork and the sportsmanship? Where was the experience the younger, smaller kids could have gained getting some playing time in a blow out game? Sigh. I don't think we have found our football home. I don't think I want to be part of this "all for us and all for us" mentality. I wish my husband had the time to do it all over again for Dakota. He spoiled us. He is an excellent coach and an good man. He is a wonderful role model for my own son, as well as the other boys he coaches. I respect, however, that he is a busy man, devoted to his high school job, and I know that he is giving Dakota everything he can and will continue to do so as the sports years progress. I just wish we could clone him, because there just aren't too many men like him in the world of youth sports.
That brings us to Dakota. Dakota was our bonus baby. He was my husband's gift to me when he decided to pursue the time consuming path of high school coaching and asked me "what do you want to do with your life now that the kids are growing up?" I knew when we had him that my husband was not going to be "running the table" as they say, coaching Dakota from the ground up. I knew there wasn't enough time or energy left for that. I stepped in for his first year of baseball and basketball and coached and, when he started tackle football at 3 years old in a new organization close to my husband's school that he coaches for, I thought Dakota's coach was fabulous. However, my son was three and there wasn't too much more to be learned for him than being a part of a team and standing in the right spots. We were pleased with the outcome overall. The next year, however, his coach was a mess. He didn't know football. He didn't work well with the kids and he was going through a personal crisis at home that he brought onto the field. We cut Dakota's season short after the coach taught the boys how to "play dirty" against another team. Okay. So we tried soccer the next year and had a great coach. Dakota was no superstar, but he really enjoyed the high energy on the soccer field. I loved our coach and it was fun, although no one really bothered to teach the kids the skills to better themselves. Basketball for his first year was fun and I coached. No issues there. Then came football season again. This time my husband knew the coach and said good things about him. He had "run the table" with his oldest boy and was returning to youth to coach his youngest. My husband vowed to help, but in the long run, had little time to give due to his work and coaching schedule at the high school level. Well, long story short, the coach did know football, but wasn't interested in teaching the skills to the kids. He just wanted to work with the bigger, stronger, faster kids and had little interest in the "dead wood" that were the 19 other young boys on his team. These boys were 5, 6 and 7 years old! After several weeks of this I decided to cut my losses and Dakota and I enjoyed a wonderful fall at home, watching my husband coach and older son play on Archbishop Spalding's high school team. So here we are presently, in the spring. My husband has become extremely close to Dakota. They are best buddies and my husband's schedule has been slow due to the off season and he is very interested in coaching Dakota. Time, however, will not always be available. So he and I together and coaching baseball and we signed Dakota up with another organization for football this spring, arena football, in hopes that this well accomplished organization and it's seasoned coaches would have what we were looking for in a team and in the coaches that are working with these 6 and 7 year old boys. I took Dakota to the first 2 practices. They were long and it was cold and Dakota was not looking like he knew what he was doing nor that he was enjoying himself. We asked him if he would like to quit. Nope. He said he was loving it. My very aggressive, gregarious boy, however, was a pansy on the football field and I feared he would get hurt, so my husband agreed to take the reigns, work with our son on his skills and take him to his practices twice a week. From what I was hearing, things were good. Our son was improving and I know he always came home full of stories and smiles, telling me about his night. My husband approved of the coaches who were gung ho, but seemed to genuinely like the boys. Could this be it? Had we found a football home? Today was our first arena football game. I was waiting for the good experience that was going to give this football loving family something to smile about. We got there an hour early and the coaches were excited and so were the boys. Our team, for the most part, is made up of bigger boys, all getting ready to turn eight very soon. They are experienced, having won their age bracket championship the year before in fall football. Dakota is small and inexperienced and I knew he wouldn't get alot of playing time. I was okay with that. The other team was tiny and had only had one practice. Not looking good for them. So 9am comes and the game starts. Our starting offense tears up the other team's defense over and over again. We score and score some more. The other team is taking a bruising and some of the kids are getting really banged up. Dakota gets in for one, maybe two plays. Some kids don't get in at all, as the starters are playing both sides of the ball skillfully. Then it's halftime. My husband and I are sure that the coaches are going to put in the younger, smaller kids now. It's a blow out. But no. The coach is all but frothing at the mouth because his big, strong son is continually destroying the other team. The big boys on our squad pummel and pummel the other team. The score is 8 scores to 2 scores and still, our coach is smiling a mile wide and letting these kids smash into the other team over and over. Dakota got in for one or two more plays. Some kids still hadn't step foot onto the field. The coach was not at all concerned. He was winning!!!! Big!!! Look at my huge beast of a son beating up on that little center!!! There were some parents of the bigger kids yelling and encouraging their sons to beat up on this team more. More! More!! It was awful. I was embarrassed for us. Where was the teamwork and the sportsmanship? Where was the experience the younger, smaller kids could have gained getting some playing time in a blow out game? Sigh. I don't think we have found our football home. I don't think I want to be part of this "all for us and all for us" mentality. I wish my husband had the time to do it all over again for Dakota. He spoiled us. He is an excellent coach and an good man. He is a wonderful role model for my own son, as well as the other boys he coaches. I respect, however, that he is a busy man, devoted to his high school job, and I know that he is giving Dakota everything he can and will continue to do so as the sports years progress. I just wish we could clone him, because there just aren't too many men like him in the world of youth sports.
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