New Beginnings
This is normally my favorite time of year. I am usually all about new beginnings and September holds all that for me. I love the coming of fall, the crisp, cool air, the start of school...new books, new activities, a return to a normal schedule. Except this year, our new beginning also includes an ending, and a very significant one. My oldest son is beginning a new phase in his life as he moves out on his own and starts college tomorrow. Wow! An incredible experience in itself and so much fun and excitement awaits him! There is no one more deserving of this than my Brian, who makes great choices, always is kind, gives back, works hard....you couldn't ask for more in a son. And through the years, even when it would have meant more friends and more fun to party with the crowd, he always chose to make better decisions, covet just a few close friends and spend alot of time with family. Tomorrow after my husband and sister in law and I move him in, he has a three day list of activities that he is required to attend with all the other incoming freshman including giveaways, games, contests, block parties, lunches, meetings and more. There will be lots of things to do every day and lots of people to do them with and he soooooo deserves that! But with his new beginning comes the end of his childhood here at home. There is no pretending that he's my little boy anymore. I think back to those difficult toddler days, the loving sweet little grade schooler, the years and years of side by side homeschooling that were definitely some of the best days of my life, the sports, the championships, the vacations, the exploring together. We lived every day to the fullest, made every day count and we were closerthanthis. Always.
What I need to remember, however, is even though he will be at college, close by but not spending every night at home, he is still my son and I am still his mom and we are still closerthanthis in our hearts and always will be. We might have to pick up the phone to share some of our experiences, but there will still be plenty we share together. We have all our memories to help us through the tough times and our time apart will make the time we spend together even more special, if that can be possible.
So take wing, my sweet boy. I may cry, but I will be okay. I know nothing can change what we have....not time, nor distance. You are my boy and I am your number one girl....always and forever. I will take care of our house and your dog. I will give her a ton of love and she will remind me of you. I will walk her and lay on the floor with her and rub her behind just like she likes best. And before I know it you'll be home for the weekend, home for the Ravens games, home to hang out and then it will be Thanksgiving and then you'll be home for Christmas break. We will all be fine. Remember when you see my tears that they are just because I love you so very much, not because I don't want you to have this awesome experience. I am selfish. I would hide you away from the world and keep you all for myself if I could, but there is no one on this earth who deserves all the best more than you do. So go. Have fun! Don't feel guilty because your mom is a blubbering mess. When you feel homesick just pick up the phone. We'll chat and laugh and it will be better. You know where we live! You can visit anytime. All the choices are yours to make for whatever brings you the most happiness.Here, there, wherever you need to be at any given moment. Dad and Koda and Kris and Keri ( and Riley and Raven and Joey) and I love you so very much and we are all proud of you and we are all right here behind you, there to cheer you on like we always have been since you were four years old and we're there to hold you up if you need a little strength. Roots and wings, son. It's what it all comes down to. Strong roots. Wings to fly way....and to fly back home. You have it all. You always have. Now it's time to take the next step. It's the first step to the rest of your life and it's going to be terrific!!
What I need to remember, however, is even though he will be at college, close by but not spending every night at home, he is still my son and I am still his mom and we are still closerthanthis in our hearts and always will be. We might have to pick up the phone to share some of our experiences, but there will still be plenty we share together. We have all our memories to help us through the tough times and our time apart will make the time we spend together even more special, if that can be possible.
So take wing, my sweet boy. I may cry, but I will be okay. I know nothing can change what we have....not time, nor distance. You are my boy and I am your number one girl....always and forever. I will take care of our house and your dog. I will give her a ton of love and she will remind me of you. I will walk her and lay on the floor with her and rub her behind just like she likes best. And before I know it you'll be home for the weekend, home for the Ravens games, home to hang out and then it will be Thanksgiving and then you'll be home for Christmas break. We will all be fine. Remember when you see my tears that they are just because I love you so very much, not because I don't want you to have this awesome experience. I am selfish. I would hide you away from the world and keep you all for myself if I could, but there is no one on this earth who deserves all the best more than you do. So go. Have fun! Don't feel guilty because your mom is a blubbering mess. When you feel homesick just pick up the phone. We'll chat and laugh and it will be better. You know where we live! You can visit anytime. All the choices are yours to make for whatever brings you the most happiness.Here, there, wherever you need to be at any given moment. Dad and Koda and Kris and Keri ( and Riley and Raven and Joey) and I love you so very much and we are all proud of you and we are all right here behind you, there to cheer you on like we always have been since you were four years old and we're there to hold you up if you need a little strength. Roots and wings, son. It's what it all comes down to. Strong roots. Wings to fly way....and to fly back home. You have it all. You always have. Now it's time to take the next step. It's the first step to the rest of your life and it's going to be terrific!!
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