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Consistency

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I am having trouble in my life right now for numerous reasons, but I was thinking today that one of the things that is throwing me so off balance is the lack of consistency in the most important things in my life.  I used to know what was coming next, who was here now and who would be here later.  I knew how those that I hold closest felt, both about me and about life...or so I thought.  In the last few weeks, however, I just don't know about anything.  There have been major upheavals and I'm not sure what each day will bring.  Some days my son calls home, chats openly and shares his day.  Some days he doesn't contact me at all and if I try to talk to him he mumbles and pushes me away.  Some days he's home.  Some days he isn't.  The relationship with my husband is the same way too recently.  Good.  Bad.  Hot.  Cold.  Smooth.  Bumpy.  A promising tomorrow.  An empty future. This is all very confusing t...
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Last Week

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 This was the last week of my summer break from my school job. I missed everyone and the structure, but I wouldn’t say I was ready to give up the freedoms of summer.  This was Dakota’s last week of summer break and also his last week of high school training camp…ever. Our first preseason game of his senior year is tomorrow.   This week I fulfilled my promise to take my oldest granddaughter, Natalie -age 12, to DC to take her time in the Natural History Museum so she could read all the things. We spent two whole hours in the gems and stones section while she soaked up every little bit of knowledge she could about what she was seeing. She was a pleasure to be around and I enjoyed being with her. On the way home we stopped to get Rebecca’s new glasses. She just went to the eye doctor and discovered she has very poor vision. I sat with her as she saw the world clearly for the first time and she was most amazed that the carpet was made of “strings” and not just a blob.  A...
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Friends, Friends, 1-2-3....

Today started out with me oversleeping because I had bad dreams all night when I actually did get any sleep about the nightmares from Rise of the Guardian movie stealing my granddaughter away.  When I was just staring at the ceiling I was worried about my travel consultant business and the commitment I made to do my first trip that I am not sure is going to be successful. After waking late I had to rush to get out the door on time to take Koda to VBS, only to realize I had no money, no gas and no key to the truck to see if it had gas instead of my car. I had to call my husband to meet me with money, had to get gas and then hit traffic and every red light and was 20 minutes late for VBS and 20 minutes late for my breakfast date with my girlfriend.  She was kind enough to meet at my house and bring me a Dunkin Donut muffin and after sending in another report to work that they couldn't find, I finally got to sit down and chat and it sure did feel good.  There is something ...
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