Cindy's Life as She Knows It

Today was like a Friday for me since this was the last day for the "day camp" kids this week due to my trip to North Carolina tomorrow.  It was a gorgeous day, clear and cooler after the heat and humidity that have been plaguing our area for the last many days.  I had both girls today and my Dakota and once they were all here and ready we headed out for the morning.  Our first stop was to a dear friend to drop off some much needed things for her family.  Afterward, we went to Pasadena to Lake Waterford, where I was pleasantly surprised at the lack of people there.  The kids raced to the playground and I grabbed my chair, our lunches and my phones.  While they played I made the last transfers of numbers and information from my old simple phone to my new complicated smart phone.  Now people will say you are stereotyping if you say "girls will be girls" and "boys will be boys", but if you have had both, you know this is very true!  While my boy ran...

46 Hours.  2 Sleeps.  The day after tomorrow.  Two days from now.  I am counting down the time before I will be with my daughter and granddaughter again and this time it's permanent.  They are moving back to Maryland, right down the street temporarily, and I am looking forward to having them in my life on a daily basis again.  I want to feel the weight of my granddaughter's sleeping head in the crook of my arm.  I want to see my daughter's smile when she tells me a funny story.  I want to feel the soft baby skin on my lips when I kiss my granddaughter good night or hello or good morning.  Fifteen months is a long time, but I've made it through and the reward is within reach.  Unfortunately, there is a long six hour drive separating us, but that is just a nuisance.  We are leaving very early on Thursday morning and hoping to arrive by lunch time.  They have packed up their home and most of their belongings are in the garage wa...

Today I only had one other child with Dakota.  We did a guided activity after breakfast and then headed out to a friend's to pick up some things for homeschooling and for another friend.  Afterward we went to the library and then had lunch at Sorrentos with big Brian before hitting Walmart and heading home.  There are storm brewing outside this afternoon and, while the two kids I have are a bit wound up, it is much better than Thursday and Friday of last week.  They have played for the last hour more or less quietly in Dakota's room and now they are about to watch Up until the little girl's dad gets here.  A quiet night is in store for the boys and I tonight.  Brian is worn out from his weekend at the ocean and Koda will quiet down and play in his room this evening.  I'm hoping to get some true September planning in the books tonight after doing my work folders.  We shall see.  Two more days to get through and then we go to North Carolina to ...

This weekend was HOT, as was Thursday and Friday.  I woke up early on Saturday to go and get a good friend and share an hour of coffee and conversation before I headed out to do my grocery shopping.  I hit the two major grocery store chains that I usually go to and then decided that Walmart would have to wait until one night this week.  I stopped at the bank and dropped off flowers and a birthday present to my cousin and then headed home to get out of the heat.  I got a very nice treat when, at 3:00, my husband took my daughter to work and took my six year old to Uncle Fred's for fishing, crabbing and pool fun for the afternoon (son #1 is at the ocean for a long weekend).  So here I was, home alone, and a multitude of possibilities ahead of me.  I cleaned a little, watched a little tv, played on the computer a bit and read some magazines and then treated myself to a sub and cup of cream of crab soup for dinner.  I watered the garden, unwinded a little ...

Some days are better than others.  We all know that.  Some days the universe comes together and the sun shines down on you and all the world is there on a platter for you to enjoy.  And some days it doesn't.  Today was a bad day.  The reasons are many and they really are unimportant in the big scheme of things.  The feelings, though, run a little deeper and seem to be reinforced over and over, enough that I have been doubting myself and what I believe in and what I am passionate about.  I get praised and then then insulted.  I am wonderful and then I am not worthy of a single good thought.  I feel accomplished and then unaccomplished.  I think I've achieved success and then wonder if what I've really achieved is a glorified failure.  What is success anyway?  If you truly believe that what you have accomplished is a success, does that make it so or if someone else considers what you've done to be a failure, does that make it so?...

During my summer "day camp" I have been extremely organized.  The kids have come regularly and I have had a schedule on the door and we have followed it pretty closely.  The kids have gotten along well and we have had a pleasant experience.  Maybe it's me....most likely it is me....because at the moment I honestly can't remember Monday and Tuesday.  Oh yes, Tuesday I was off.  Was that really on two days ago?  Anyway, yesterday I was supposed to have all four "campers".  By 9am I was down to only two.  The boy who joins us occasionally was sick and Dakota's cousin's little brother was very sick and in the hospital so she would not be joining us either.  Dakota and the friend that was here are the easiest two to match up since she is older and brings out a bit more of the quiet side in him.  I had things available to them and we had to take an hour long roundtrip to my work, but all in all, until 3:00, things went well.  However, too...

I was having some major issues with Blogspot, but it looks like things are back to normal again.  Yesterday my husband took me on a belated birthday daytrip to St. Michaels on the Eastern Shore of Maryland.  I suppose it isn't for everyone, but we really love everything about the shore and St. Michaels is a gorgeous little town that seems like a step back in time.  It has colorful storefronts, lots of history, great restaurants and it's quiet and peaceful.  We could walk around for hours.  The drive is across the bridge and then when you make the turn towards St. Michaels it's a wide spit of land with water on either side.  In some spots you can see the water and in some spots it's just woods and scenic views.  We rode through the actual town, stopping for a little while to walk and then got in the car and continued to Tilghman's Island, another fifteen minutes or so down the road.  Once you cross the draw bridge there things change consider...

After an exhausting week, Friday is a welcome sight.  I had two of my "camp" kids and we met my niece and great niece and nephew at the bowling alley.  It was chaotic and crazy, but the five kids bowled and I got a few sentences in with my niece.  It's very rewarding to have a friendship with this remarkable young woman whom I have babysat since she was an infant and all through her youth.  Life has some odds twists and turns and she and I had children nine months apart with Sierra and Dakota.  It has led us to have much more in common than we would have otherwise and we've shared some fun times and some wise words over the years.  After two games, which was more than enough for the kids, I took my group home and fed them lunch and thankfully, they played pretty independently throughout the afternoon with only a few tiffs and squabbles.  I really needed the breather, because I was feeling mighty overdone by 1:00.  Now there is only one "c...

The past week has been so crazy!  I've been waiting to write on this blog until I had time to catch up, but at this point, that might never happen.  I've been doing "summer camp" for Dakota and three other children.  They usually aren't all here at once, but at least one is here five days a week, another three days a week and the third one to three times a week.  I have tried putting up a tight schedule and keeping them on it and I've tried letting them just play and leaving things loose.  The schedule is definitely much, much better for all involved, especially me, but it's exhausting and I feel that I haven't had a spare minute to myself in weeks.  This week we have gone to the movies twice, including seeing Ramona and Beezus today, and Mariah and Dakota have had VBS in Arbutus every night.  Today, after the movie, we had lunch and a playdate here at the house with Kelly and her girls until three.  Mariah went home and Dakota went into his room ...

Tonight my husband and I escaped for a little while and took a walk through our park.  We live squarely in the suburbs and pretty darned close to the city, but the park across from our house is a beautiful refuge for deer, fox, birds of prey, herons and other woodland creatures.  I always feel very priveleged to have the park, but especially when I have the time to stroll through and appreciate it for what it is.  I enjoy watching the seasons change there and currently summer is in full bloom and the heavy spring rains and yesterdays washout storms made everything lush and green and dewy tonight.  The underbrush was overgrown with huge green leaves, wild vines and grasses of many kinds.  The trees overhead hung low from the weight of left over moisture and if you listened closely you could hear the dripping of the water from the leaves.  Deep in the woods on a trail we were fortunate enough to see a deer, who stopped and looked at us like she just couldn't ...

My eighteen year old son got his driver's license today.  He wasn't mature enough at sixteen, but he is definitely ready now.  This was his third try because he kept failing the parallel parking, but he breezed right through and came out of the car from the test with a huge smile on his face and a swagger in his strut.  I'm happy for him...I do believe he's ready.  I know I will worry, but I've asked my dad to be the angel on his shoulder and I've asked the Lord to protect him and keep him safe.  I guess that's all I can do.  He's a good boy....responsible, careful and smart.  I can only pray that he makes smart choices and that when he does not, that angel will be there to keep him safe from harm.  Drive safely, my greatest love.  You mean the world to me.  Make sure that you stay aware and alert and never drive faster than the angel on your shoulder can fly.

Today I had to say goodbye one last time to my daughter and my granddaughter as they set off for their home in North Carolina.  They have 3 weeks to pack and then they will finally be moving back home here to Maryland where I will see them almost every day and become the huge part of my granddaughter's life that I yearn to be.  My daughter and I sat and chatted today, playing on our computers, commenting on the news and just enjoying being together like we often do when she is here.  She has been in North Carolina 15 months now and I have missed her every single day.  As I held my little Natalie and rocked her on the swing on our deck I tried to soak in her softness and her smell.  I tried to imprint the feel of her smooth baby skin and silky hair as it touched my lips when I kissed her.  She slept in my arms and I whispered how much I loved her into her tiny ear and hoped that somewhere in her sweet dreams she'll remember Nana's voice and it will st...

Today we started a Christmas in July unit.  The kids thought is was really fun to color Merry Christmas signs, make stand up trees and "hang" ornaments on them, listen to Christmas stories outside in the 92 degree heat and do Christmas word games and puzzles. 

Usually our family tends to keep the 4th of July holiday pretty simple, but not this year!  My daughter, son in law and granddaughter arrived late on Friday night.  It was so good to see them again and to be able to hold Natalie and kiss her soft little head.  She hadn't changed as much as I'd feared.  We got to bed late and got up early Saturday to get ready for guests who began arriving at 1:00 to meet Natalie and enjoy good food, friends and family.  It was a busy day for everyone, but I did manage to get more than my fair share of Natalie time.  People seemed to seek me out to "return" her and I was happy to practice my Nana skills.  It was interesting to see the "children" with babies of their own.  There were lots of little ones around and it the house, deck and yard were full of squeals, cries and shouts.  After the main crowd went home there was just family and we made a bonfire and then we had a family game night.  I was just to...

The kids I watch and Dakota have been doing 4th of July themed crafts and packets all week and today wrapped it all up.  We did our packets and they played while I finished my work and then we went to McDonalds for lunch.  I had just Dakota and Lindsey today....funny how much they have changed.   I watched Lindsey from age 9 months until 5.  I had Koda when she was not quite 2.  For about a year there I had Koda and Mariah, his cousin, who are only three weeks apart in age, and Lindsey, 2 years older.  They were so little then!  Next week I have all three of them again.  Now they are almost 7 and almost nine.  Things are so much easier now!  The two I had today chatted over lunch and then we hit the store for a few things.  I gave them each $3 and we went into the thrift store and it was amusing to see them budget their money and wonder if they should really spend $.99 on something since that meant they only had $2 left.  ...