Forty Eight Years
So today is my 48th birthday. I like the date of my birthday....I have always thought July 12 had a nice ring to it and I've only ever met one or two people with the same birthday. It's not been a great day, but that's how it goes sometimes. Nothing special was planned here for the day with my family and I think my oldest son doesn't even remember, as he has had to work almost straight through the last two days and my little son never feels the need to do anything special for me because I am mom, you know....mom. I feel a little hurt by the lack of attention, but my family tends to expect much more from me than they give, which is how I have raised them. Hmmmm, a counselor would have a ball with that one, now wouldn't she/he?? ;-)
So the day started with a kiss from the hubby and a phone call from my mom and oldest sister. Both my best girlfriends were in touch and my daughters called. Facebook has a way of making you feel popular for a day, as well, with all the posts from people you haven't seen in 30 years. I took Koda to VBS and found out on the way that the Yankees organization, which took a deposit for my trip out of an account of ours, took twice what they were supposed to. Uh oh. Not good at all because there wasn't enough in there to do that. So stress mounts. I ran some errands in the pouring down rain, answered a few emails and ran back to pick up Koda, who's VBS never seems to understand that ending at 12 does not mean 12:20 or later. So more stress as my mom is calling to find out where I am for our lunch, which she needed to be "not too far away"...and it wasn't for her, but it was 25 minutes away from me. So off we go, windshield wipers going, texts and phone messages back and forth to the Yankees, an upset husband wanting answers.
Lunch was stressful too. My mother had her hearing aide in, but probably not on. She couldn't hear a thing and couldn't understand why my two year old granddaughter was acting like a two year old. I could tell my daughter was stressed by all this as well and the baby wouldn't eat, wouldn't be quiet and wouldn't do much of anything we asked her to do. I had the people at Bill Bateman's sing happy birthday to me and bring a dessert, but my family did not sing and my daughter didn't even bring a card, nor have my granddaughter make me some adorable handprint or silly scribble. I would have liked that. By the time we left there I was ready to go home and stay home and out of the rain, but when I arrived the hubby was still not happy about the Yankee error that had still not been fixed and that left us in a huge bind for the weekend. When I tried to run things by him, since he and my son had been "all in" a few days ago, I was told that this was my thing and not to lean on anyone else for the decisions, so I guess I am in this alone, which I knew would be the case in the long run. I am terrified of failing on my first trip venture. It is not going as well as I had hoped and while I am putting the word out there, the commitments are coming at a trickle. Sigh. Stress does not have any birthday breaks.
Now the husband has been at the gym for hours. The little son is moaning he is incredibly bored and wants to order pizza, which isn't going to happen. I don't have much hope for a good evening of snuggling and conversation with my husband since he is unhappy with me due to this unfortunate turn of events that will eventually be fixed, but not quickly enough. Stress. You are not my friend, however you ARE my constant companion. Maybe I will try to lose myself in planning for the fall. That always makes me happy. I doubt much sleep will happen tonight. If it's not worrying about this, it will be worrying about something else like my co-op, which it seems will be going through an overhaul which I hadn't planned. Days like this make me wonder why I try to do big things. Yes, most of the time they do work out in the end, but the tensions created aren't always worth the results.
So the day started with a kiss from the hubby and a phone call from my mom and oldest sister. Both my best girlfriends were in touch and my daughters called. Facebook has a way of making you feel popular for a day, as well, with all the posts from people you haven't seen in 30 years. I took Koda to VBS and found out on the way that the Yankees organization, which took a deposit for my trip out of an account of ours, took twice what they were supposed to. Uh oh. Not good at all because there wasn't enough in there to do that. So stress mounts. I ran some errands in the pouring down rain, answered a few emails and ran back to pick up Koda, who's VBS never seems to understand that ending at 12 does not mean 12:20 or later. So more stress as my mom is calling to find out where I am for our lunch, which she needed to be "not too far away"...and it wasn't for her, but it was 25 minutes away from me. So off we go, windshield wipers going, texts and phone messages back and forth to the Yankees, an upset husband wanting answers.
Lunch was stressful too. My mother had her hearing aide in, but probably not on. She couldn't hear a thing and couldn't understand why my two year old granddaughter was acting like a two year old. I could tell my daughter was stressed by all this as well and the baby wouldn't eat, wouldn't be quiet and wouldn't do much of anything we asked her to do. I had the people at Bill Bateman's sing happy birthday to me and bring a dessert, but my family did not sing and my daughter didn't even bring a card, nor have my granddaughter make me some adorable handprint or silly scribble. I would have liked that. By the time we left there I was ready to go home and stay home and out of the rain, but when I arrived the hubby was still not happy about the Yankee error that had still not been fixed and that left us in a huge bind for the weekend. When I tried to run things by him, since he and my son had been "all in" a few days ago, I was told that this was my thing and not to lean on anyone else for the decisions, so I guess I am in this alone, which I knew would be the case in the long run. I am terrified of failing on my first trip venture. It is not going as well as I had hoped and while I am putting the word out there, the commitments are coming at a trickle. Sigh. Stress does not have any birthday breaks.
Now the husband has been at the gym for hours. The little son is moaning he is incredibly bored and wants to order pizza, which isn't going to happen. I don't have much hope for a good evening of snuggling and conversation with my husband since he is unhappy with me due to this unfortunate turn of events that will eventually be fixed, but not quickly enough. Stress. You are not my friend, however you ARE my constant companion. Maybe I will try to lose myself in planning for the fall. That always makes me happy. I doubt much sleep will happen tonight. If it's not worrying about this, it will be worrying about something else like my co-op, which it seems will be going through an overhaul which I hadn't planned. Days like this make me wonder why I try to do big things. Yes, most of the time they do work out in the end, but the tensions created aren't always worth the results.
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