Absence makes the heart....hurt

My pregnant daughter returned to North Carolina with her husband today.  She took with her my granddaughter to be...and I won't see them again until the baby is on her way into the world.  That's two months of my daughter changing as my granddaughter grows that I'm going to miss.  I'm hoping to make that 6 hour drive in time to see the baby born and then we are hoping to spend a few days there helping out.  Then we will come home...leaving them there.  They will visit in a few weeks and then probably again in July as they look for a home here in the area.  We will return around the 1st of August to bring them all home to live.  That probably sounds optimistic and I am so lucky that they are coming home, but, while I try so hard to count my blessings, it is literally breaking my heart to be separated from my daughter during this important time in her life and I can't even imagine how I'll feel leaving both my daughter and granddaughter there when we have to come home.  I know other mothers do this all the time.  I know not all of them are lucky enough to have their children within driving distance or planning on returning to live nearby in a few months.  I know.  And my heart breaks for them.  Because I am hurting right now.  I desperately wish things were different.  I feel selfish and immature wanting her here with me.  She is so happy, living the life she has longed for with a house and a husband and her baby on the way.  I am happy for her.  I really am.  I'm just not so happy for me.  My heart hurts.  Alot.  I miss my little girl.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Senior Year

Image
 I have known it was coming. I have dreaded it for years. August 9,2023 Dakota started his senior year of football (#54💙) and there is a big countdown clock hanging over my head. I am determined to push it aside and enjoy the coming season and year, adding memories to the ones we have created in youth and high school football with the boys since 1999.   He is excited yet calm, takes care of himself and his things and even bought his own football stuff this year after working his summer job.  Today we paid for his parking spot and to “chalk it up” for his space the day before school starts. He didn’t want to do it so Kris and the kids and I will do it for him and surprise him. So many things to add to the calendar!  Tomorrow is his first scrimmage. He has to be on the bus at 7am for a 9am start time in LaPlata. Even though we have to be up and out early, these are the times I will miss the most. I love away games for the excitement of a different school, a nice meal after and my favori
Read more

Last Week

Image
 This was the last week of my summer break from my school job. I missed everyone and the structure, but I wouldn’t say I was ready to give up the freedoms of summer.  This was Dakota’s last week of summer break and also his last week of high school training camp…ever. Our first preseason game of his senior year is tomorrow.   This week I fulfilled my promise to take my oldest granddaughter, Natalie -age 12, to DC to take her time in the Natural History Museum so she could read all the things. We spent two whole hours in the gems and stones section while she soaked up every little bit of knowledge she could about what she was seeing. She was a pleasure to be around and I enjoyed being with her. On the way home we stopped to get Rebecca’s new glasses. She just went to the eye doctor and discovered she has very poor vision. I sat with her as she saw the world clearly for the first time and she was most amazed that the carpet was made of “strings” and not just a blob.  And on a very good n
Read more

Changes, COVID and Career

 Somehow it has been four years since I last wrote in my blog. Address changes, we all lived through the COVID debacle, and I left daycare behind and changed careers last November. I am now in the last few days of my first year with Anne Arundel County Public Schools and I love my job!  I enjoy working with the kids, being a part of our school community and making friends with so many wonderful men and women who all, like me, come to work each day to help educate these young children.  Summer is fast approaching. Dakota is 18 (how did THAT happen) and finishing his Junior year of high school. He is driving now and Monday morning he starts work at his first job. I am beyond proud of the young man he has become. More on him in future posts, you can be sure! We lost our two big dogs, Raven and Riley in 2020 and late that year we got our newest addition, a shepherd mix named Jaxon. He is crazy and loving and crazy and expressive and crazy and loyal. Lots of pictures will be posted. He is v
Read more